Five Guys Burgers and Fries

by Andrew Woodman on April 7, 2011

1143 13th Street
Boulder, Colorado 80302
Five Guys menu

warning: if you have a peanut allergy, stay the hell away. seriously.

I don’t want to imagine the beginnings of Five Guys Burgers & Fries any other way than this:

5 best friends who all share a love for hamburgers and french fries get together and work in a kitchen that happens to be decorated only with red and white tiles.  They pump out burgers solely from their enjoyment of the process and their passionate love for the food.  They are having the time of their lives. Then one day out of no where, a man comes from the future and tells them that they must open restaurants in order to save the world. The 5 best friends have a meeting, and decide to do just that, and one after another they all quote Barney Stinson played by Neil Patrick Harris from How I Met Your Mother—”it’s gonna be legendary!”

This video pretty much sums up those 5 exclamations.

Truth be told, it is pretty legendary.  And the teamwork in the kitchen is pretty fun to watch, especially when waiting in the lengthy line of numbers full of people who will get to enjoy their food before you.  Each station—register, potato cutting, french frying, burger patties, burger prep, etc.—has it’s own distinguished features that probably come along with a good amount of stress due to the Hill’s hectic overload of customers.

Granted I went on the first day they opened, I waited in line for about 5 minutes.  I’m not a patient waiter, ever, but when I was in line there were a few things that caught my eye, and entertained me enough to help pass the time.  Giant sacks of Idaho potatoes, giant boxes of peanut oil*, and free peanuts* to munch on while deciding your order.  Pretty neat, check it:

After all of that potato/peanutty fun, I ordered a Cheeseburger [$5.79] with lettuce, pickles, tomatoes, grilled onions, and grilled mushrooms.  You order a naked burger and choose from a list of toppings, even the essentials like lettuce.  But get this: all the toppings are FREE! Even the classy ones like grilled mushrooms, grilled onions. Awesome.  I also ordered Regular Fries [$2.69]… Besides its irresistible rhyme it makes out of the restaurant’s name, I couldn’t stop myself after eyeing those fresh potato sacks for so long.  After I was done ordering I saw my first quirk of teamwork: the register dude shouted “TWO PATTIES!!” but in a way that I could almost not understand what he was saying.  That’s right, each burger has two thin patties. /^_^\

Sadly I couldn’t find mine, but here are the burgers as they get topped at the topping station (teamwork woo hoo!):

When I got my food, it was put into a paper bag.  My burger was on the bottom with the cup of fries on top.  When I stuck my hand in to get my burger out, I tried not to spill the fries, but it was pretty much inevitable that it would happen.  My hand came out greasy, but gripping a delicious feeling burger (yeah, it felt delicious).  The process of getting my burger out of the bag caused me to squish it slightly, which pissed me off, but I remedied it and everything was A-OK.  The burger was fantastic.  Here it is just as I unwrapped the foil:

The fries were pretty good, a little soft for my liking, but still good.  My only objective problems with the fries were that they made it difficult to get my burger out of the bag, they made my hand all greasy, and there were way too many of them. I paid nearly $3 on fries that I couldn’t even finish a third of, and would have rather had the choice of getting a smaller order for cheaper.  Here are the copious amounts of fries.

But wait! There’s more!


Even with the bagging dilemma, I must say Five Guys is pretty legendary. The only reason I wouldn’t go to Five Guys to get a burger on the Hill is if there was an In ‘N Out next door.  One day… one day…


PS: If any more restaurants on the Hill start excluding my nut-allergin-friend Will by using peanut oil on everything, I’MA BEAT THEM UP!


your hand got greasy??? those bastards!!!! how dare they make you reach into a bag with french fries in it!

by Anon on April 8, 2011 at 1:02 pm. Reply #

It is pretty simple to pack a bag that has fries in it without making me literally dig through french fries to find my burger. The main way I’m thinking of, is put the burger on top of the fries.

I’m not sure how you eat your fries, but usually I don’t like to do it with my entire hand, which includes the top of my hand, and even part of my wrist. Maybe you like it messy, but to each his own.

Just kidding! It’s actually my favorite way to finish my lunch break—gaining a slimy grease layer all over my hands. It’s really nice, and the complexion of my hands has never been better!

by Andrew Woodman on April 8, 2011 at 1:58 pm. Reply #

Robbie and I LOVE the Garage, it’s one of our favorite pceals. The sweet potato fries are completely delish, and I am so glad you went back for your bread pudding! It’s SOOOO yummy!

by Jack on September 11, 2012 at 1:52 pm. Reply #

Strange weather! Those angry strmos have been all around us out here, but we always seem to be on the back side of them (the cold side). It feels more like late October here! Brrrrr…Thanks for watching, Helen!

by Lucia on September 13, 2012 at 11:11 pm. Reply #

I’m just kidding, man. Don’t sweat the small stuff ;)

by Anon on April 8, 2011 at 5:44 pm. Reply #

I see why you like Oroweat Sandwich Thins, you really pile those tgnhis so high you’d never get one in your mouth if it had a taller bun. My favorite thing to use is a grilled sourdough bread.I bet the pineapple worked well with all the pork you packed in those. I’m not quite sure about the A-1 though.

by Sanjeev on September 13, 2012 at 9:32 pm. Reply #

i think you should talk more about how the burger tastes. “fantastic” doesn’t say much. was it juicy? were the tomatoes and lettuce fresh? is it infinitely meatier than mcdonald’s or wendy’s? better than rueben’s burger bistro? what about good times? colorado doesn’t even have in n out…

by caro on April 11, 2011 at 4:14 pm. Reply #

Thanks for your input. Since I have obviously let you down, I’ll try to do you justice in this comment.

This burger doesn’t even really compare to any other fast food chains in Colorado that I’ve been to, but if I had to choose I’d say Good Times (but with thinner patties). It comes with two thin patties, the produce is pretty damn good (sorry I meant fresh tasting), and the cheese is cheesey. The thin patties make for a great cheese:meat ratio, in my opinion. Additionally, since all the toppings are free, you can make the burger however big you really want it to be.

Hope this helps and thanks for your constructive criticism.

PS: I’m sorry Colorado doesn’t have In ‘N Out, they really should.

by Andrew Woodman on April 11, 2011 at 4:38 pm. Reply #

This is simply maenfiicgnt. The photos are award-winning quality. And Trevor, did they have the double half-pounder on the menu or did you think of that yourself?

by Gamze on September 13, 2012 at 6:44 pm. Reply #

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